I have been inspired by the christmas film The Holiday into researching how to be the leading lady of my own life. And my research shows that I am not the only one who has been inspired by this film to do so. See for yourself, look it up and you’ll find article after article from women who have taken the film’s words to heart. Many I agree with, some I don’t, this one is a half-way house and worth a read, you know, once you’ve read mine obviously: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/9764314/Skirting-the-issue-Festive-rom-coms-make-me-realise-Im-not-the-leading-lady-in-my-own-life.html
Christmas and New Year is a time to reflect on the past and bring about change for the future, your future, to become the person that you want to be. But without the right inspiration, the thing that makes change – no matter how small – seem like the most obvious answer and give you the kick up the arse needed to get you started, nothing is going to change. My kick up the arse has come in the form of a conversation between Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet) and Arthur Abbot (Eli Wallach) in one of my favourite films The Holiday. Finally it has spoken to me:
And in case you can’t watch the video:
Arthur: “Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like you’re the best friend.”
Iris: “You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God’s sake…”
Too many times do I feel like I’m walked over, passed off for a better option or simply just taken for granted. And honestly, it’s not the fact that this stuff happens that I’m bothered by, it’s the fact that I’m bothered by it in the first place.
I believe a leading lady should be strong, always have a back up plan and be able to ‘go with the flow’ to make any situation work best for her, be able to take life by the balls and seize opportunities and have a firm grasp of perspective. Without being rude or cruel in the process, I might add. After all, manners don’t cost a thing.
I suppose confidence is a lot of what being a leading lady is about and being able to take things in your stride when life doesn’t go your way. Two things that I am working on. I have always been shy and find it difficult to talk to people (I always have a nagging voice at the back of my mind telling me people think I’m boring so there’s no point saying anything – so I don’t), and I take things to heart and have a mini meltdown when life throws me a curve ball. But as I said, I’m working on this.
As I mentioned, I’ve been researching and finding what words of wisdom can we take from and learn from to become the leading lady in our own lives? Here are the ones that speak most to me:
Gumption is what Iris learns to take control of her life and, take these as you will but, I think initiative, resourcefulness, courage and common sense are the ideal traits to behold.
- “Give from your own strength. Depend less on the strength of others. Develop your own talents and don’t envy other people theirs.” – J.Donald Walters
Doing things for yourself can be empowering. It is too easy to take the quick route out of a problem and ask someone else to deal with it for you. Take control and sort out the problem, show yourself that you can handle anything that is thrown at you.
- “If not me, who? If not now, when?” – Emma Watson
Yes I know that was part of her UN speech about gender equality, but this doesn’t stop them being powerful words that we can learn from. If we are not going to take up the role of leading lady in our own lives, who is?
- “Write down every negative thought you have about yourself today so you can see them for what they are. After this, every time you catch yourself with a negative thought, I want you to do this, STOP IT!” – Paul McKenna
We really can be our own worst enemies. How many times have you put yourself down for something only for someone else to give you praise for it? And I bet I know which one you believe over the other…
- “If you want to attract appreciation for what you do, then move through your life appreciating and complimenting others.” – Rhonda Byrne
Don’t forget about other people and know that many of them will be feeling the same way as you do about yourself. It’s not difficult to give others a little boost and being nice won’t cost you a thing – even if you don’t get anything in return. Don’t give to receive.
- Remember the blue sky.
“When you get in a plane and rise above the clouds, you see that incredible bright panorama of blue sky. The mind is no different; thoughts are like clouds, and although they may build up and even look stormy, the blue sky is there all along. Just remembering this is enough to help you get a little more clarity.” – Andy Puddicombe
The calm, contented and negative free space we all desire, is within each of us. We just have to remember to rise above it all into the clear space where we can think logically.
I hope some of those will speak to you as they do me and inspire you to become the person you want to be – not that there was anything wrong with us in the first place! There’s just perhaps more to us than we like to let on. Let the New Year inspire you, there’s no better time to make a change.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I am off to start my new life in the starring role I was born to play.