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I’m ashamed to say that this morning I woke up in one of my – what really can only be described as – self-pitying moods.

I don’t know why.

My birthday yesterday didn’t quite go as planned (when do they ever?!), but I still had a lovely evening being joined by my family, who all travelled 120 miles (round-trip) just to see me and make me feel special. I had a lovely time and was spoilt rotten!

My smellie’s cupboard is all stocked up with beautiful products, I have a great book for sparking creativity and a pen specifically for writing my best seller (it says that on it : D), all the lovely chocolates you could wish for, the best food processor in the world (I hope, I haven’t used it yet) and plenty more. See? Spoilt!

Yet when I woke up this morning, all I had was negative thoughts in my head – dragging me down to a place that I don’t like to go to and find it hard to crawl my way out of.

It really hit me hard this morning, especially where I’m trying my best to see the light and to enjoy things as much as I can, so I was beating myself up for letting the negativity back in too. And worst part of all, is that it’s my husband who gets the brunt of these ‘down-times’. It’s always the ones we love that we hurt, isn’t that how the saying goes?

BUT! By lunchtime I was feeling better and now I am fine again and back on track. Let me assure you that this is major progress! Only a few months ago – when I was down, I was down for weeks at a time with no end in sight, just  some lighter days than others. When I phoned my husband at lunchtime, he told me how proud of me he was that I was recovering from these moods so much quicker. He is my rock and I don’t know how he puts up with me sometimes.

I just have to remind myself at times like that, that I do want to be happy. I want to be happy, to see the good and get myself back up as quickly as possible for my husbands sake, if not my own – he deserves a happy wife.

And if all that fails – I have a new tact of putting all of my efforts into focussing on making others happy. If you can make someone else’s day or even just make someone smile – when you are feeling that low yourself, that’s a win straight away. But it’s the hope that a little of the good feeling may rub off onto you, getting you back on track to the happy person you know is in there, that makes the effort worth the time.

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